Bitch-back! Pattinson and His Paramours

Dear Ted:

I was wondering if you had heard anything about Robert Pattinson and his costar Nikki Reed dating. That's the current rumor going around about him (it seems that whenever he's seen with anyone he is automatically dating them according to his "fans").
—Sam

Dear Pining for Patts:
The way Nikki cooed over Rob at the big premiere, not to mention every single Twilight function (both unofficial and not), something naughty's up, for sure. And jeez, there's been rumors of R.P. and just about every guy and gal in the Twilight cast. Next he'll be sleeping with author Stephanie Meyer.

Dear Ted:
I look forward to your column regularly as a respite from the daily grind! You tell it as it is! Are Robert Pattinson's boozing activities due to unrequited love from Twilight costar Kristen Stewart? Or is he simply enjoying his star status a bit much?
—jojo

Dear To the 80-Proof Hilt:
Robbie has far too many options to be upset, plus Kristen just doesn't seem like his type. Or is that 'cause I don't want it to be? I simply think he likes to get his drink on—who doesn't at 22?

Dear Ted:
I understand Obama wanting to reach across, but this, in my opinion, is overreaching. The gay community was insulted enough with the Prop 8 mess, now this. They were also out there along with the rest of us campaigning, volunteering and contributing money to get Obama elected! This is what I don't like about politics, while the powers that be reach out, there's always some group being left out. This should be a time when all progressives celebrate and feel included.
—Pamela, NYC